Monday, January 23, 2012

it's contagious

One of my New Year's resolutions was to always find time to play. Having said that, I will absolutely admit in the past year and a half there were opportunities to play or have fun...but we never had the time for all of them. Do I wish we had the time? Yes, BUT we were either too busy running back and forth to the hospital, on the telephone for hours fighting with Mr. Insurance, dealing with whatever challenge was presented to us, and just living day by day. Did we have moments of fun and now share wonderful memories with our boys? Yes. Did we miss out on other things because of our situation? Yes, I believe we did. Do our 4 year old twins think that? I hope not or else or I'm screwed. We just had different priorities than other families and in our case they just happened to be life threatening.  All of that behind us, we moved forward thankfully because of our donor family. 

You know I'm hoping that this blog will be a way for our boys to see what happened...see how we embraced life during a difficult time. How we made it through and show them how many people care. Ever since our boys were born I kept a journal of sorts. Writing down all sorts of things about each of them. Who walked first, Quinton. Who talked first, Kaeden. First visit to the dentist. Potty training. Whatever it was, a milestone, a word, a sentence or something we did together.. it's a journal of every day memories to treasure in the future. My last entry oddly enough was October 5, 2010 where I simply wrote: "Ms. Joanne told me that Quinton got teary eyed at lunch because he had to go to clubhouse (after care at preschool). It was one of the first times I sent you and being a working mother I felt terribly guilty about it all. Hopefully you'll understand when you get older. " We all know what happened next and so here I am blogging away. 

Back to the matter at hand.... always find time to play. Today I'm working from home. Boys are home with me. Daddy working in his studio. Raining outside. Now that's odd...rain in southern California. I told the boys to get socks on, rain boots, and a jacket. We were heading outside to jump in puddles. BIG puddles. Lucky for us Daddy was taking a short break to get coffee in the kitchen, grabbed his camera and ran outside with us. A neighbor a few doors down saw us jumping in puddles and joined in our fun. Apparently watching people jump in puddles is contagious. Sure, afterwards the three of us were drenched from the waist down but that's why washing machines & dryers were invented. 

Now if this were a year ago, Daddy wouldn't have been able to just run would've been this whole charade of sorts finding a jacket long enough to cover his LVAD, the wound vac still attached to his arm, managing the camera for a good shot, being extra careful so that he didn't get the LVAD wet......but now he can just run outside. Thank you donor family for giving my family of four this very simple moment in time, a fun memory where we found time to play. 

Always find time to play.

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